Footnotes from 30
Things version 3.1 of myself has learned and would tell version 2.1
There’s something peaceful about turning 31. The anticipation of turning 30 has faded, leaving space to truly sit with myself and my lived experiences. To commemorate my 31st birthday, I’ve compiled a list of life lessons I wish I could tell my twenty-something self, and hope to carry with me into this next decade of life.
Working on yourself and being open to growth is the best investment you can make. Effort compounds over time, so stock your life with positive assets and habits.
Record your grandparents’ voices while they’re still here. Save everything you can, and cherish every moment you have with them.
Take the time to truly get to know yourself: your values, your preferences, your dislikes. The more you understand yourself, the less power others have to tell you who to be.
Stop sacrificing your comfort. If someone causes an uncomfortable situation, it is not your job to ease the tension or consistently give them the benefit of the doubt. A harmful ego does not learn by being placated.
Take the high road, but be mindful of which paths are safe. Some roads lead back to people or places that don’t deserve you, so walk toward the ones that do.
Confrontation may scare you, and you’re not alone in that. You don’t have to be perfect at it, but it is important to practice.
If you need to stand up for yourself, make sure your axe is sharp and ready. Dull edges take longer to get to the point, and can do more harm if you keep chipping away.
People will give you tough love sometimes, and it will hurt in the moment. Years later, you will have an epiphany and understand exactly what they meant. This will be some of the most crucial life advice you will receive, so try not to shut it down completely. The truth may need to simmer for a bit before you’re ready to taste it.
*Grabs a bullhorn* Listen! To! Your! Intuition!
Believe in your ability to be resilient. Going through the trenches is often difficult, unfair, and discouraging, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. What matters is that you keep moving forward, because, in the most loving way, you are stronger than you may feel at the moment.
Please do not internalize “feedback” from people who project their own journeys or opinions on how they think you should live your life. It’s imperative to live for yourself and do what makes you happy.
Not everyone will keep their seat at your table, and it’s important not to villainize everyone who leaves. It’s easy to feel hurt or angry when people exit your life, but you will feel more at peace once you accept that some people are simply meant to be temporary characters in your story.
For my girls out there: Puhleaseeee leave that boyfriend who doesn’t value you and treats you poorly. You deserve better, even if that means choosing yourself first.
Use discernment when it comes to your goals, dreams, and life progress. Not everyone will cheer you on, so it’s important to either keep things close or only share with people who are emotionally safe and truly supportive.
One of the greatest acts of love you can offer yourself, and others, is learning how to take accountability.
You’re allowed to be happy. 🤍
Thank you so much for reading! 🤍✨
© Nicole Carey DaPonte 2025
